Duke Nukem Forever: How To Effectively Kill A Franchise

Hail to the king of failure, baby. Duke Nukem, the egocentric character that relies on juvenile jokes to sell copies of his games has a track record almost as laughable as the lives of the poor saps that find his quips humorous.

Duke Nukem burst from his creator’s womb in 1991 with a 2D side-scrolling platformer that would vastly be forgotten and overshadowed by his future endeavors. Gameplay was what you would expect at the time from a side-scroller with a protagonist holding a gun. You run, you shoot, you leave the level, and then you repeat for the remainder of the game. In 1993 Duke Nukem II was released, and yes, it was more of the same mindless dribble that was vastly ignored by the gaming population.

In 1996 Duke Nukem surfaced yet again. But this time he brought the big guns. Duke Nukem 3D was a massive departure from the side-scrolling series that brought Duke into this world. It was a first-person shooter with adult themes and a highly destructible and interactive world, which went unparalleled at the time. The erotic elements featured in the game, such as attending strip clubs, garnered an amount of controversy that went unchallenged until the release of Grand Theft Auto III in 2001. I’ll admit, the adult themes and mindless levels of violence entertained me for hours on end back in 1996. It’s largely because I was 9-years-old at the time and a single fart joke would have me on the ground, rolling around like I was on fire.

Since breast and fart jokes were all the rage in the mid-nineties, Duke Nukem 3D was a commercial hit, selling around 3.5 million copies. When a game is this big of a hit, you should expect to see more sequels than you can count. But sadly for Duke, that’s where things went wrong. A year after the release of Duke Nukem, 3D Realms announced Duke Nukem Forever, a direct sequel to Duke Nukem 3D. Unfortunately, this game wouldn’t see the light of day until after 14 years stuck in development hell. Over the course of its development, 3D Realms was downsized due to financial reasons, most the game’s development staff got the boot, and the future wasn’t looking too bright for the most loved douchebag in the history of video games. In 2010, hope emerged when 2K Games reported that Gearbox Software would be finishing Duke Nukem Forever and releasing it the following year.

Once released, the game was bombarded with negative reviews by fans and critics alike. Clunky console controls, countless bugs, frequent load times upwards of 30 seconds, and outdated humor made gamers feel mugged and violated. Duke Nukem Forever is a proof that some video game franchises should stay dead. Passing off an outdated and unfinished game for $60 is how you effectively kill a franchise and insult the fan base, regardless of how minuscule they were in the first place.

To sum up, Duke Nukem, in my opinion, has proven to be one of the worst characters in video gaming history, which has made me revolt the game in its entirety so much that I am thinking of calling over my worst enemy at home and tie him up to in a chair and have him endure the travesty for hours so and see how he likes it. I feel like surfing a bandar judi online and get into gambling full time to get my brain working which is now in many knots.